My Poem: Glass eyed, Sad eyed, Longhaired girl

Glass eyed, Sad eyed, Longhaired girl

Bent over staring at her legs,
Thinking, 'O MY, they are so fat.
At eighty-nine and barely five foot one.
Her reflection from the mirror,
Disappoints her needs.

Analyzing her body,
Angry at every ounce of fat.
Twisting and turning to see
If more bones poke out
From her hip and back.
Her heart skips two beats.
Slowly she is dying to be thin.

Gazing in the mirror,
She tortures herself.
Thinking of every meal she must miss,
Every drink she must sip.

Clips of beautiful, twig models
posted on her door.
Gorgeous men surrounding them
idols to her, she is just an underachiever,
She wants to be them.
Imaging what it would be like
Skinner and her jaw line more distinct.

Thoughts race in her head.
Her reflection makes her want to throw up,
disgusting fat she lives with.
If she wants attention from men,
This is how she must live.
Counting calories and being deathly thin.
Television and magazines,
Have given her this awful obsession.

Expectations beyond her control,
She is killing herself.
She thinks she is winning,
But really she is almost at her end.

She hates her reflection,
Thinking how badly she wants to eat.
She walks away,
Puts on her baggy size 0 jeans
And sweatshirt,
Feeling so ashamed and fat.

This girl was me. Happy to say, I am not her anymore and can live free and not be afraid to eat and experience what life has to throw at me. Now, I'm a size 3 :)

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