On My Journey

It all started in the 10th grade, I just wanted to be healthier. So, I started watching what I ate and exercising regularly. The only thing that happened was I gained 5 pounds!

I became extremely self conscious and began to cut out sweets. Not so dangerous right? Everyone supported me on my journey to becoming healthier. I was by no means overweight.

Starting my 11th grade year, I became obsessed with exercise and only ate apples and salads. Still, I only got down to 132 pounds, until I discovered bulimia.

I don't remember the first time I did it, but I liked it. I didn't throw up everything I ate, only if I ate something bad for me. I was always hungry, so I started binging and purging.

My world is out of control. All I think about is food. I only eat an apple and an orange, or half a cantaloupe during the day. However, when I get home, I binge like nobody's business. I wish I could stop.

My parents know that something is wrong. They are sending me to different counselors, and my friends are beginning to notice as well.

I currently weigh 120 pounds and my arms are extremely skinny, as well as my legs, but my stomach will not shrink. That is the only thing that keeps me doing this to myself.

I want to stop so badly and just be a normal teenage girl. I hate myself, I want to die! I wish I had the control anorexics have, because then I would be skinny! Hopefully, I will be better one day.

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