Missing Out On So Much!

I am 31 years old, and I have been bulimic since I was 20.

I remember the first time my friend told me how she starting throwing up to lose weight. I thought that was the stupidest thing I had ever heard.

I currently binge at least 1 to 3 times daily each time followed up with purging. I have never been hospitalized, however I am having complications. I have chosen to ignore so many of the signs throughout the years, because I am not sure how to stop. I don't think anybody would even believe I would have such a disorder. I am scared to tell anybody.

I am not sure if I can stop, and I don't think I could deal with the disappointment that my friends and family would feel.  At 32, I am currently experiencing rectal/vaginal prolaspe.  My teeth are also chipping away. I have become a very moody person. 

When I get off work my thoughts and actions are consumed with eating.  I feel like I just have to.  The worst part about this is, I have a wonderful husband and three beautiful girls. None of them are aware. 

I know that I am missing out on so many things.  I just don't know how to stop.  I have so many responsibilities in my life that everything can not stop just so I can get help.  How do you tell someone that being bulimic has control of your life?  How is this possible?

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