My Eating Disorder Recovery Story

I am a 32 year old mother of 3 girls. There ages are 17, 15, and 11. I have had diabetes and all my life and I struggle with my weight.

One day I read about purging, it was hard at first to vomit after eating barely nothing. I would chew and spit it out. I figured why swallow it if you can satisfy yourself mentally with just taste.

I started at age 24. I dropped 90lbs in 3-4 months. I figured wow this works for me. I would wake up with large amounts of hair on my pillow. I always had a sore throat. I would spit up blood after vomiting. All my back teeth were rotten, so I had them pulled and I have kidney problems.

I was married at 25, and was asked at my wedding are you sick? I said no it's these diet pills I took for the wedding. I took 8 pills a day.

I had a stroke at 26 and was in the car with my kids. At 27 I had a heart attack, but here I am 32 years old and I can't stop from suffering with this illness.

I look in the mirror and see a fat pig even after lipo suction, breast reduction, and 3 face lifts. My breast have shrunk now to a small B and I'm still not happy.

I have pictures over my house telling me what not to eat. I have stashes of laxatives and diuretics. I take about 12 a day.

I go to counseling for this, but yet, I'm lying not only to myself but to my therapist. So, how long will I live for my kids? I'm dying to be thin. I type this and I have tears in my eyes because I want out, but have no idea how to stop. I don't recommend this illness to anyone out there. If you're thinking about it please read my story!

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