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I Don't Know What To Do!

My weight never seemed to be a problem. But when I became friends with two people whose metabolisms were extremely fast, making them look almost unhealthy, made me self conscious.

I tell myself everyday not to eat lunch at school. Get home, exercise, don't eat after 6 p.m., but it all catches up with me when I'm alone.

I'm a caffeine addict. I have a can of soda at least once every day. So, I tried quitting that, but it's too hard. I look at the girls who look like skeletons and I tell myself,"Don't push it that far. Just far enough to be less than a size three..."but I can't seem to do it.

I don't eat healthy. I only eat one proper meal a day, and then a bunch of fattening, junk food. I'm a picky eater, and that's all I like. I feel guilty every time a calorie enters my mouth. I feel sick and begin poking my thighs and sucking in my stomach.

I keep eating, but in little bites, trying to fool myself that it's more than what I'm actually eating. I think people stare at me every time I eat, so I only eat when I'm home alone, or when I'm with my best friend. She's the only other one I trust. She tells me I'm not fat, but I just CAN'T believe her.

I've got cellulite around my buttocks and thighs, and a fat lower tummy and large hips. My wrists are thin, but my upper arms are flabby. My ankles are thin, but up beyond my knees can feed a whole family, if they felt like eating human fat.

I don't know what to do with myself. I've got dark circles under my eyes, and my mother keeps asking me what do I eat at school for lunch. I don't eat at lunch, so I have to lie to her, and it makes me feel more guilty. I really don't know what to do!

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