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My Vicious Cycle

Why do we get hooked into Bulimia? I don't know the answer to that question. I am 25 years old and have been living with this demon for the last 12 months.

I know that I am a beautiful person and can offer this crazy world we live in so very much. I also know that all of you reading this are wonderful people who can do the same.

Why we feel the need to abuse, destruct, destroy and ruin our lives I do not know. What I do know is that living with bulimia is hard work. I am constantly thinking about my weight, how my clothes look, do people think I look fat and why me?

I would love to be able to overcome this illness and I hope and pray that one day I am free. I know that we should love ourselves and respect our bodies but for some
reason there is a constant obsession with looks. In the big scheme of things is this really important?

Tonight, as I write this I have binged, purged and the vicious cycle is well and truly alive! I now feel the guilt and am beating myself up for having no self control and wish I had not done what I just did.

I worry that no one will ever love me, and I will end up alone. I often feel very lonely and wish I could talk to someone who has been where I am and has recovered. I would love to hear from anyone who has beaten this horrible demon and maybe has some suggestions on how to overcome this evil thing we call Bulimia?

hayley_2282@hotmail.com

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