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I Want Someone To Care!

It's lent and I told myself I would give up my bulimia for 40 days. On day 4, I made myself sick. Because of how often I make myself sick, my stomach is constantly empty after everything I eat. It makes me feel lighter and better about myself.

As soon as I eat anything it makes me feel terrible. And to give up making myself sick for just a few days makes me extremely self conscious and irritable, as my weight balloons.

The problem is, I defiantly don't like being bulimic. Not only am I not painfully skinny, I am not skinny at all. In fact, I am 5' 8'' and I weigh 156 pounds, which makes my BMI 23.7. So I am over weight.

I've told my mum about my eating disorder, but all she did was tell me to stop. I've told my best friend but she doesn't seem to care. I know that I can't make myself better, and I want someone to care. However, I feel as if no one does, and I am alone.

I weigh myself at least eight times a day, and I make myself sick at least once a day. I constantly think about dieting and food. Bulimia controls my life, and I fear it always will.

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