It's The Symptoms, My eating disorder story

It's The Symptoms

Like most people, I don't know why or how it started. All I know is that up to a certain point in my life, I was a confident person who didn't care about what I ate. I actually looked good.

Right now.. well I won't say I'm in the best shape. I feel like I've gained a couple of kgs every time I eat a proper meal. I have for the past 3 years been binge eating, and vomiting. I eat, and then vomit over and over again. I swear to myself that it will be the last time I do it, but that's what I say everyday.

Whenever I find an opportunity to be alone at home, I go to the supermarket to buy whatever seems attractive and binge eat until I feel like a balloon. I sometimes give up and come to accept that this is who I am and that maybe I won't ever recover.

The main problem is the symptoms. The swelling of my face is only the smallest problem. I've lost my periods for the past 2 years.

My mother is worried sick about me and finds any medicine that is said to have worked for some people. I feel so guilty knowing that there's a reason for all of this... and that I'm not trying hard enough to quit. I want help. I want to shout and say yes, I'm suffering, can anyone knock some sense into me?

Even though I'm writing this now, I know that tomorrow if I'm alone at home, I'll do the same thing I did today. I'm a horrible, irresponsible person. I bad daughter and sister. I seem to stress anyone who's around me. Help... How can I stop

Worried Mom's Story