Emotional Problems, Binging and Purging during my emotional problems

Emotional Problems

I had never thought about my body shape and it never bothered me until things went downhill in my life and I had to ask myself what was wrong with me.

I started comparing myself to all my friends and comparing how much I ate to how much they ate. I decided I would become more positive about what I ate. I started eating healthier and exercising. I got down to my ideal weight and I was so proud of how I'd achieved it.

Then, I went through some more domestic problems and betrayal by friends, and whenever I was emotional for any reason, I would start binge eating to comfort myself, instead of taking out my emotions through exercise. I put on even more weight. I was back to where I started.

I loathed myself and my body. I wouldn't go out anywhere. I started purging to make myself feel better. It's was such a relief. It justified my reasons for being a pig even though I knew what I was doing was wrong.

Months turned into a year and a half. I always told myself I could overcome this illness, but I still haven't. If I'm not binging, I'm purging. The entirety of my waking moments are spent worrying about food, calories, and how much of a failure I am. I hope to overcome this by the end of the year at the latest, but I've realized...it's not an easy process.

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