I Just Ate, and Ate, and Ate: My eating disorder story

I Just Ate and Ate and Ate!

I may not look like it to some people, but I have an eating disorder. About two years ago I dropped about 40lbs and then was at a point where I just couldn't lose anymore weight, no matter how much I worked out and no matter how much I cut back on my food, I still couldn't loose the weight. I became disgusted with myself, and couldn't even look in the mirror because I hated what I saw.

It started when I was a junior in High School. I was at my families Christmas party and I just ate, and ate, and ate. I felt so disgusted with myself at this point, that I went home before my mom and her boyfriend, telling them that I was too tired and wanted to go to bed. Instead of going to bed I went into the bathroom and purged until it was all gone. I promised myself I would never do it again. But that was just me lying to myself.

I still struggle with my eating disorder. I started dating this guy, and I stopped for a while until he broke up with me and then it all started again, because I felt so bad about myself. I don't blame him in anyway.

I'm still struggling with this and I'm not sure what to do anymore, this seems to be the only thing that I can control in my life. I'm trying so hard to stop but it's harder than anything you can possibly imagine.

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