I am 30, and my battle with bulimia began at age 17. No one in my life knows my struggle, not even my husband.

This is my first attempt at reaching out and making the first step towards recovery. I don't want to be this way, I hate doing it. It started as a way to lose weight and cope with some issues in my life, but now it has become me and I can't get rid of it. I've tried therapy and counseling but they never worked.

I have a 3 year old son and a newborn daughter who I live for and I know I need to get better for them. Everyday I say it's a new day and I will try again, but everyday I fail.

I am afraid of dying from this disease. I am afraid of getting oral or throat cancer. I am afraid that the mistakes I've made in the past 13 years will destroy my life and my family. It is not worth the pain.

This disease is a black empty whole. It leaves you feeling depressed and alone. But, one thing I know with certainty is God is bigger than any problem we struggle with. God is greater. My trust is in Him and Him alone. The Bible says, "My body is a temple of the Holy Spirit". I will do my  best to honor that and take care of the body God gave me. Strength to all who are going through what I am. May God be with you even in your struggle. Remember, He is greater.