Nonstop

Bulimic. Such a simple word.. or so I thought. I was fifteen years old and I was so tired of life. I was at that stage when you cry at night thinking "nobody cares."

I tried suicide and managed to make it through, but still the pain of my past just wouldn't let go of me. I felt so disconnected from everybody else, all I saw when I looked in the mirror was a loathed fat girl.

While everyone was telling me how nice my body was, I was busy thinking of how ugly, disgusting, and fat the girl in the mirror looked. That's when I thought of the very simple word, Bulimic.

I would eat nonstop. I just couldn't stop eating and after every bite I would become filled with self loathing and guilt. Then I would go to the bathroom and purge it all out. Nothing was amazing as the feeling I felt when I realize that there's no more food in my stomach.

With time my weight began to drop, suddenly the girl in the mirror didn't seem so fat. But instead of stopping I became obsessed with purging.

My teeth are ruined and they hurt every time I eat. My mom will be taking me to the dentist, but she doesn't know her daughters deep secret. She doesn't know her daughter is slowly killing herself. Nobody knows and they never will. My lips are sealed.

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