MamasHealth.com Home Bulimia Personal Stories A Few Months Ashamed Of Myself Battle With Bulimia Battling My Eating Disorder Bulimia Bulimia Freak Bulimic and Depressed Figure It Out Good Bye Bulimia Hi, I am Bulimic I Hate My Body I Just Want Happiness In Silence Long Story Me and Bulimia Mean Jokes My Body Lost Calcium My Bulimia My Bulimia Problem My Endless Struggle My Knuckles are Red My Life Non-Stop Not Even My Husband Not How I Use To Be One Step At A Time Please Read Links Email Mama Addiction stories Anorexia stories Athletic stories Bulimia stories Eating Disorder Family and friends stories Help Me! Herpes stories I'm not healthy stories Medical disease stories Medications and eating disorders Migraine stories Mother stories Recovered Anorexic Recovered Bulimic Recovered Eating Disorder Self esteem stories The Letter "C" Weight stories Mama's Inspirational quotes Mama's Motivational pledges Mama's Health quotes Mama's Poem	I Hate My Body I can relate to "This is all I know!" I started my Bulimic struggle at 17. I will be 42 years old this December. Amazingly, I have been pretty abusive with my body, but not with laxatives. I probably use the restroom atleast 4 times a day.  I have no stomach problems, fatigue, or anything. Every time I go to a new dentist, I embarrassingly disclose my past to them, and they tell me I have no enamel erosion. It makes no sense to me, but I do not believe that if you force your body to do what it is not meant to (unless you really ARE sick) nothing will come of it. It is a terrible secret.  In my attempts to recover, my mother just snapped "why don't you just grow up!" She would not let me share my feelings. (I was 32).  I know she blames herself for the beatings and sexual abuse at the hand of my father but you know what?  He is dead now, we are here, and being able to speak about it instead of this being something shameful is not the best foundation for healing.  Not that she is responsible, it just doesn't help. The worst part (or best) is that so many people comment on my figure, that I look like Giselle (actually that's true) and how they wish they could look "beautiful" like me.  They just don't know the pain it is to be here. I have gained 8 pounds (intentionally - there is a mentally healthy heart beating in there somewhere) and it is one of the hardest things I have ever done.  I hate my body; even though at 42 I am unrealistic to have the body of a 20 year old.  Alas, thus is the disorder. Share your story	Sign up for our Email Newsletter For Email Marketing you can trust
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