Endless Struggle With Being Bulimic My name is Brenna Burns, and I am bulimic. I am 18, and I have been struggling with this disease for a little over a year now. Everyday, I find myself at some point crying just because of how hard I am trying to fight this disease, and everyday I cry, wishing I could take back the moment I ever decided to binge and purge up my food. What started as something I could control, quickly turned into something I couldn't. I just moved out from a bad situation, and although there isn't so much stress anymore, I still find myself in an endless struggle with being bulimic. Every morning I wake up thinking " today is a new day." I can do this. I can go the whole day without throwing up. I really wish I could! Even the slightest bit of food I eat, I want to throw it up. Keeping it down feels so horrible, but I know my body needs it. I am 80 pounds, but I just keep loosing more weight. I want to stop! I am to my limit with this disease, and if I don't keep fighting it, I know what will happen. I have so much support already in my life, but being bulimic, I feel like I am alone. I look at other people, eating and laughing and having a great time, and I wish so badly that I could be like that again. I wish I could pick up a cheeseburger and not worry about how many calories it contains, or throwing it up. I just wish I could enjoy it and not worry. It's so hard to watch everyone else. I don't know how I got this way, but all I know is fighting it is so hard. I can't honestly remember the last time I ate something and not worried about throwing it up. Being this way feels so horrible, and I hate how skinny my body has become. I get out of the shower and half the time I can't even look at myself in the mirror, because seeing myself this way hurts too bad. If you are like me and need someone to talk to about this my email is: peanutbutteroreos@yahoo.com or (feel free to IM me C:) Thank you for listening
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