Wanting To Fit In

Hi, I'm Katie and I was a chunky child. My father loved me a lot, and he gave me whatever I wanted when I was in elementary school, which included ice cream every night at late hours.

My body was growing, and getting the sugar and fat was causing me to gain lots of weight fast. By third grade, I was eating the same amount of food as my father, a grown man, which I admit I am kind of ashamed of now. I was the largest kid in my grade, and I knew it, too. I was secretly ashamed of my poor fitness and craved to look like the girls that were skinny in a healthy way, they didn't stick out as much as I did.

I went to Catholic school for 3 years, and at that school we had gym twice a week, which I know now is NOT enough. I would come home, have a big meal-like snack and watch T.V.

I transferred to a public elementary school where I had more friends, but they had high metabolisms, and were again much skinnier than I. We had gym class everyday there and that's when I noticed my lack of exercise was against me. It hit me, square in the face that I had a problem.

I had always craved to be skinny and fit in, and I didn't think I had any hope. I could tell my parents were nervous about me, and my mom tried to talk me into dieting ( in a healthy, natural way) with her. I realized what I was, and decided at age 9, I'm not going to live like this anymore. I cut back on junk food, and exercised more often. It took a long time, and I progressed into middle school. By then, I was almost done, and my weight slowly went down. You must realize I am a very tall girl and I didn't know how much I really was growing.

It didn't make sense to me, how I would exercise and eat right, but I would still only lose a little weight. Running became easier, gym was more fun, and I slowly felt like I fit in. The only progress I knew was my mom telling me that she was proud of me and my face was starting to thin out, and she could see progress. I had definitely thought about anorexia but I knew that wasn't right, how deadly it is, and I considered it morally wrong.

I am now 14, and in the 8th grade. Even though I am a teenager, I eat less than I did. I am in track, volleyball, and hopefully LaCrosse. I see pictures of myself then and compare them to my current ones and it is almost like a before and after picture. My aunts would ask me how I did it at such a young age, and how I had the willpower to do it, and I can simply reply that I was just sick and tired of not fitting in.

My friends, whom I once looked at as toothpicks, are now equals. In gym we ran a mile twice a year, and my time has gone from 10:45 to 7:02 . It has been a tough, emotional journey, but I have made it to the end. I used to weigh 148, but now, I can proudly say I am 5'8, I weigh 120 pounds, and I am happy.

Katie C.

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