When I Don't Run

During my junior year in high school, I was healthy, athletic, and I had a good looking body. Then I was sent to rehab.

They wouldn't let me run, so when I don't run, I automatically lose weight. That's how my body is.

So, it was in between my junior and senior years in high school that I started fighting my battle. I felt like I was in control. So, I quit eating.

My junior year I went from 110 to 105 pounds in one week, then to 111 pounds in the summer which was perfect for my athletic frame. I was 5 foot 7 and I looked great.

I was sent away to rehab for a second time. Again they wouldn't let me run, because I was underweight, but when I don't run I automatically loose weight, so they accused me of purging.

I never purged. I just lost weight by not running because that's how my body works.

I was 106 pounds my senior year, and now I'm 108. One hundred and eight pounds still discuss me and I still battle with it.

To me, anorexia is a lifelong battle because it's covering up everything else, all your other pain. It's not something people "recover" from they spend their whole lives in that process.

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