MamasHealth.com Home Addictions and Compulsions Bulimia Feelings Confused and Gullible Evil Habit Has To Come Up Horrible Addiction I Can Not Control It I Quit Smoking I Started Dieting I Take Small Steps It's An Addiction More Than Throwing Up My Addictions Never Get Over It Nose Bleed Over Eating Perfectionist Picky Eater Tried to be Perfect Twenty-Two Links Email Mama Addiction stories Anorexia stories Athletic stories Bulimia stories Eating Disorder Family and friends stories Help Me! Herpes stories I'm not healthy stories Medical disease stories Medications and eating disorders Migraine stories Mother stories Recovered Anorexic Recovered Bulimic Recovered Eating Disorder Self esteem stories The Letter "C" Weight stories Mama's Inspirational quotes Mama's Motivational pledges Mama's Health quotes Mama's Poem	Never Get Over It My eating disorder began when I was in college, though I suffered from anxiety and depression throughout my childhood and adolescence. I am quietly competitive and feel threatened and worthless if I'm not the best at whatever I'm doing. I attended a prestigious women's college full of very bright, accomplished women and by my own estimation I fell short. I became ill enough that the college admitted me to a local hospital, where I received some counseling. Afterward, I was required to take a semester off (which, in retrospect, is what I wanted but  it was against my parents' wishes. A hiatus mandated by the college was a perfect solution to my convoluted way of thinking.) I continued to meet with a therapist for several months and my symptoms subsided. I finished school and graduated. With maturity I've grown more moderate in judging myself, however I continue to struggle with self-esteem, depression and anxiety and if circumstances are challenging (difficulty at work, feeling unloved, I am not pretty and I depend on hard work and a few limited talents to feel OK with myself and deserving of love) I slip into old behaviors. I may compulsively eat an extra slice of pizza and then I can't tolerate the feeling of fullness so I will purge. I keep these behaviors from my husband, family and co-workers but I talk to friends with similar issues and occasionally with a therapist. I am considering medication for obsessive-compulsive behaviors or anxiety. I am almost 40 and I expect this to be an ongoing problem that I may never fully get over.	Sign up for our Email Newsletter For Email Marketing you can trust
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