My Addictions

Hi, my name is Lisa.  I am in recovery from alcohol, drugs, bulimia, and gambling.  I have realized that anything that is self-destructive, I do.  I still don't know why, but I know I have to stay away form these demons. 

Being "demons" means to me that the only way I can do this is by a power greater than myself.  People or professionals can help me, but I need to rely on a higher power and ask God for help all the time in doing this.

I am a control freak (I found out) and the problem is I can't control anything, including how much I drank, used, or gambled. Controlling people, places and things was totaling out of the question.  Although my persistence in this insanity has brought me close to death.

I have to turn this control issue over to someone who knows what they are doing.  Just because I want things done at a certain time or things to happen in a certain way does not mean it's going to, and I am not going to change the outcome.

For years I have used my intelligence and persistence to affect changes in my life and my family.  The wisdom comes in not knowing when I can't change things anymore. I think the bottom line is using all of my energy on changing my thought process and leaving others to changing theirs.  Mine is enough to handle.

Alcohol, eating, and drugs was hurting me and not helping matters, but making it worse by feeding into the thought that I was no good. 

The only way I can begin to feel good is to be free of my addictions. It leaves so much more brain space to do positive things, as when in the throws of an addiction that is all you have on your mind 24/7.

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