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My Journey

I stuffed the food my parents gave me at dinner into my
pockets when they weren't looking. I couldn't eat any more because it would make me even fatter!

People kept telling me I was too thin, but I know they were just saying that.They wouldn't be rude and tell me to my face that I was like a walking lump of...but I knew they were thinking it, in those disgusted faces that kept looking at me.

As soon as my parents left for work, I went into the bathroom and picked up my magazine off the floor. It said the perfect weight for a girl my age was around 45-50kg. I wanted to be perfect or maybe even a little underweight because they always lie in those magazines.

I held my breath and stepped on the scales and looked in the mirror for the first time in months. First, I looked at how heavy I was. I gasped, the scales had to be wrong, it said my weight was 30kg! But my heart couldn't help but sore for joy! I was under my target weight! But reality brought me back down to earth, I couldn't be that light, the scales were broken I decided. So then I risked a glance in the mirror and nearly fell over from freight, I was all bone! No fat and my skin was terrible (although I gave up chocolate ages ago!) my hair was greasy and limp even though I'd washed it the day before and I, I just looked like a ghost, I was deathly pale and had huge circles under my eyes.

Two weeks later, I went to the doctor and he who told me I was anorexic and desperately needed to be hospitalized. When I came out of the doctors, I went straight to Mcdonalds and tried to stuff myself with food, but my body had become so accustomed to nothing I felt sick almost straight away. Then a bunch of people came in through the door, including my best friend, Ally. At least she used to be my best friend, but then I realized what an idiot I had been. I had shut out all the people I loved and had treated them like dirt!

Suddenly, my friends noticed me. I wasn't wearing my usual baggy clothes to hide the fact that I wasn't eating. No I had stopped trying to kid myself. I was wearing a normal t-shirt and jeans. They looked at me and Ally whispered just so I could hear, her voice full of fear, what have you done to yourself?

I ran out of the shop and right home. My dad was there and he took one look at me, his eyes filled with confusion, what happened to you? What have we done wrong?

After that I went to hospital for 3 months. It was hard, but they got me eating normally again. My parents decided to move and I couldn't bear to face my friends again so I didn't complain.

Now, I'm living healthfully in manchester and I am happy. My past still haunts me sometimes, I'm not always happy with my body and I can 't believe what I did to myself. The thing I regret most of all is, I lost my best friends because of how I looked. I still miss my old school and most of all Ally and I really hope she's happy. I told you all this because you need to know that it doesn't make you feel happier being thin, it makes you feel worse!

Don't ruin you life the way I did

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