How to Get Help and Leave an Abuser

If you are in an abusive relationship, you may be very frightened of leaving your abuser. You may wonder where you could go, how you are going to support yourself and your children and how you are going to keep your abuser from tracking you down.

It is important that you understand that there are available resources in your community which can come to your immediate aid when you do leave. These groups will educate and help you do everything within your power to legally protect yourself and your children from the abuser.

If possible, make an emergency checklist and pack the items you will need when you do make the decision to leave. Start collecting the items on your checklist as soon as possible. If you have transportation, leave during a time when you know your partner will not miss you for a few hours. This will give you time to put distance between you and the abuser. If you do not have transportation, arrange to be picked up by a church member, police officer, friend or family member.

Many victims of domestic violence may feel as if they are somehow to blame for the abuse they received. Victims will generally have a poor sense of self worth. There are many conflicting emotions wrapped up in a relationship and it is hard to understand how someone you love, and who professes to love you, could harm you. There are numerous women’s groups who will help, support and counsel you through the many emotions you will be feeling once you leave. It is important that you learn how to trust and confide your feelings to a friend, family member or counselor. These individuals can do much to help you cope with your past and present, as well as teach you skills to move on with your life.

If your life is in danger and you do not have time to make arrangements, you should leave everything behind and flee. You can call 1-800-799-SAFE from any telephone and they will help to direct you to safe places in your area.

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